


we belong to the stage, darling

by CherFleur



Series: SW prompts [4]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Hondo offers this wisdom for free because he is very generous, M/M, Prisons cells are good for speed dating
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-15
Updated: 2020-10-15
Packaged: 2021-03-08 17:20:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 689
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27020389
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CherFleur/pseuds/CherFleur
Summary: Many, many times in his fantastically interesting life had Hondo Ohnaka been guest to rather forceful hosts. He couldn't quite keep their hands off of him so desired was he! Not that he could blame them, though he could do with better banter, really.
Relationships: Hondo Ohnaka/Darth Maul preslash
Series: SW prompts [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1971988
Comments: 7
Kudos: 91
Collections: Fun/Humour/Crack in a Galaxy Far Far Away





	we belong to the stage, darling

**Author's Note:**

> Discord prompt from Primarybufferpanel: Maul and Hondo - thrown into the same prison cell

Hondo Ohnaka was a man of great taste! He said so himself, so it must be true!

The fact that others might not have his impeccable taste was an unfortunate fact for the rest of the galaxy, who lived life without all the best things! Hondo was sad that they did not understand the finer qualities of a good story over a game of sabacc, or tripping a sleemo down a flight of stairs after he bought and child and then disabling the slave chip!

Such was the poor, misunderstood genius of Hondo Ohnaka’s great taste!

And he’d been in better prison cells, besides!

With such poor hygiene amongst those awful, awful fools with their poor taste in life choices, Hondo would bet they never did maintenance on their internal circuit panels.

Alas, it would have to wait, his grace towards showing others the errors of their ways by being fashionable and fun. A very angry, slightly familiar Dathomiri zabrak was thrown into his poorly maintained and distastefully decorated cell.

Honestly, who even _used_ thermal etching tools for torture anymore? That was _so_ pre Stark Hyperspace War. They were more _civilized_ these days!

“Hello fellow cellmate!” he greeted the actually rather handsome zabrak who turned to him with a snarl. How fetching! He loved well maintained fangs! “Welcome to our badly decorated temporary abode!”

What a snarl! Wow!

Hondo swooned, his heart all pitter patter with adrenal spikes that most species would never understand.

“Do us a favor,” one of the awful sleemo’s who didn’t like falling down stairs spoke. Really, he should do something about his snout, he wasn’t intimidating at all when so nasally! “And kill the Weequay.”

“Hahaha!” laughing at the thought, Hondo waved cheerfully at the sleemo. “Please choke on your own spittle as you speak your distastefully plebian words, my friend!”

The _quite_ distasteful snarl that was directed towards Hondo’s humble person was somewhat ruined by the irritated gumline and missing incisor. If he were less of a sleemo, Hondo might offer some friend advice – for a fee of course – on where he might get an affordable replacement! As it was, he was a sleemo, and his face showed his insides much clearer in this way.

They should be _thanking_ Hondo, not trying to incite his handsome new roommate to murder on the first date! That was the tried and true privilege of the _fourth_ date, everyone knew that, even silly Jedi like his dear, gullible friend Kenobi.

There was an order to things, and going out of them was only tasteful when _Hondo_ decided it was.

Because he was a man of great taste!

“What a lack of manners!” Hondo huffed, shaking his head sadly. “It is unfortunate that his stumble did not knock more sense into him!”

“Be silent, Weequay,” that downright _dastardly_ zabrak with the sex on a sophisticated stick voice had Hondo’s eyes widening. “Before I take the _suggestion_ under advisement!”

Oh, but what a way to go it would be!

“Then handsome cellmate does not wish to escape with Hondo?” he drooped dramatically, leaning forlornly against the _distasteful_ wall. Hah, rattling bolts already? “How despairing! The thought of leaving such a dangerously attractive being with such lovely menace in this distasteful place plagues Hondo!”

By the way that this delightful foe was looking at him, Hondo could tell that most people didn’t appreciate his aesthetic in such a way. Which was a shame! He could practically _sense_ the drama from a man with similarly refined tastes.

“Are you mentally damaged?” was asked almost curiously, as if this were the only way someone might find him attractive. “Is this why they have imprisoned you?”

“Of course not! Hondo Ohnaka simply has greater understanding of how decorum and decoration should _truly_ be put to use! Those poor losers don’t appreciate a discerning mind, is all.”

Smiling winningly, he raked an appreciative but not lascivious eye over his lovely, murderous cellmate, bowing formally, noting a few more gaps in the seams of the cell.

“Now, how about we demonstrate a truly _cultured_ approach, dear deadly one?”

Ah, another spectacular glimpse of fang!


End file.
